I'm Fine

It was about 5pm and my Mom just made stuffed bellpepers for dinner for my Niece Aamya and myself. We were all talking about life and how our week went and Aamya said earlier that she was fighting with a few girls at school and that she wanted to kick their asses, my Mom and me we both just let it roll over our sholders. A few hours later Aamya's Mom aka my Sister calls my Mom to tell her something that was very important, my Mom takes her off speakerphone and then her jaw drops like she just saw a ghost that she's seen before.

My niece at 12 years old was cutting her self with a razor blade. After the call my Mom rushed over to my niece and grabbed her arm and asked "Are you cutting yourself? What the hell were you thinking?" my mom searched all her arms until she saw the fresh slits inside her arm that looked like they were fresh. My Mom started crying and I looked at her with the saddest eyes because when I was in middle school I tried cutting my arms and the reaction was the exact same that she gave my niece. 

It's so sad to see a family member not want to live, and or try to self harm themselves, my eyes cried the moment I saw those fresh cuts on her little arm. The saddest thing about it is I suffer from crippling depression and sometimes I don't want to be here myself, and it's a battle everyday to wake up and keep trying after falling time and time again and to think my 12 year old niece is feeling that way is the most heartbreaking thing ever.