Life feels so uncertain right now, after losing my best friend and boyfriend I feel so lost. The thing is I need to look at it like it was something that was unavoidable with all the verbal and physical abuse. Even after everything that happened I will never forget you, my first love, my first everything. You and me had this connection that rubble through time and space, I guess that's what they call being in love. Even in all the ugly there was so much beauty and I need to remember those moments.

Thank you for teaching me how to love another person and myself in the process of it all.

They say time heals all wounds, I really do hope so. Ending it after a year and four months is painful at the very least with him being my first love. I've learned so much from this relationship, traveling the world, coming out as gay, getting to know someone amazing, meeting their family, them meeting my family and most importantly learning that someone is able to love me. Now it's time for me to reflect on what my wrongs were in the relationship and how I can make sure not to make the same mistakes in my next relationships.

First off Jared, never talk to your past ex's while in a new relationship, it's disrespectful and shows you don't have respect for your partner, yes Jared even being friends with them is NOT okay, don't make your partner feel insecure and unwanted. Secondly, try and make the effort to show you care about what's most important to them such as school, work, friends or family. Another thing, have respect for your partner, mutual respect is key for a healthy relationship. Lastly, communication is key, without trust and communication the relationship will not work.

​ Thank you, Rory Moore for letting me get to know such an amazingly bright intellectual person as yourself and letting me see my true value. Jared don't be afraid to fall in love again, you deserve the world, you are special and have so much potential. One day somebody will accept you for all your flaws and all because....

...You are worthy of love.

The loneliness has crept up on me again, his failure to recognize the pain he has brought on me. He thinks that I've hurt him, but I have been hurt also. Isn't love trying to comfort the one you hurt along with yourself? I question his love for me not because of what I've seen but because of what I have felt from him. The bland replies is one of the first signs I have noticed. The loss of communication is another big red flag I have seen. 


Is this love?