Dear Anxiety,
You have been in my life since the first memory I have, and I am tired of you being here. I'm tired of you always having to make me look behind my back and always expect something. I'm tired of always trying to hide who I really am and that is this funny, cute, smart, and unwitting guy. I'm tired of always not doing things just because you feel scared. I'm tired of you always overly anlyzing those glances people give you and internizle that to make your unrealistic thoughts reality. I'm tired, I'm so tired of you ruling my life. 

Please let me be free my unwanted friend, I have so much disdain for you in my heart. When I look in the mirrior I don't see me, because I see you.
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Let me free anxiety I beg of you.

Growing up I found comfort in ROBLOX while my Grandma was very sick with a bone disease(Rheumatoid Arthritis), heart attacks and dementia. Keep in mind that with that type of Arthritis my grandma had, it literally made her incapable of moving, eating and doing daily tasks on top of hallucinations, memory loss, anger and depression that she got from all the drugs she was on to treat the diseases and this lasted 13 years of my life. My Mom was busy taking care of her for a full time job, I was left to fend for myself and needed a way to get away from everything bad that was happening in my life so ROBLOX became that outlet. I joined ROBLOX in late 2007, ROBLOX was just a very small company at the time and still had round studs that later changed into square studs to prevent a lawsuit from LEGO. The reason I stayed on ROBLOX and continue to engage in the game and community for so many years is because of the emotional attachment I have to the game, I grew up with so many of ROBLOX's top developers that still know me to this day, and I bet any money that one of the first employee on ROBLOX John Shedletsky still remembers who I am, the man with the love of chicken.
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Let's now go into how I became known in the ROBLOX community. I started using free models and uncopylocked places and improved them to become something new, I ended up getting a lot of fanfare and a lot of criticism for my rise in popularity. I was hated by millions of kids, teens and adults for not giving credit to the original owners. There was nothing on the site that required me to give those creators credit, but keep in mind I WAS NOT the one who exploited the games and stole them, those games were either uncopylocked or in free models My game's amassed over 42,000,000+ million visits and that is not including the alternative accounts that I have had on ROBLOX. At one point in time I had over 8 games on the front page, let me repeat I had EIGHT games on the front page with an average of 3,000+ people on them and the top one having like 8,000+ players, nobody in ROBLOX's history have ever had 8 different games from the same person on the front page. I also had several groups with over 40,000+ users that were fans and people who hated me. When I say they HATED me, I mean they HATED me, these people hated my guts, I was criticized like nobody else on the site besides Julius Coles, I was hated from London to Denver to New York, everyone around the world hated me if felt like.

What have I been doing since? I've been in college studying Computer Science while living with my boyfriend who is in grad school studying health policy, I also have a Youtube channel (valdezjared) and I talk about world events and my life. I rejoined ROBLOX under a username called "iDream4Food" but was unjustly terminated because apparently I am still not allowed on the site because I am me. I have tried appealing the deletion but nobody seems to want to help me, I would love to return to ROBLOX, but people on the moderation team have a vendetta out on me and it's not fair because I have changed and grown over the years. ROBLOX is a place of forgiveness, fun and enjoying the inner kid inside. ROBLOX has shown me that they cannot forgive me for what I have done even after 5 years have passed and it is quite sad and disappointing even after I provided fun, enjoyment and entertainment for millions of kids, teens and adults and helped shape them into the great company they are today. 

Maye one-day the ROBLOX team will see that I am not as bad as everyone made me out to be, ROBLOX will always be where I am reminded of that inner kid inside me.

Domestic violence in a relationship is nothing to take lightly. That moment you put your hands on the other person is the moment you lose the integrity if the relationship. In that moment the other person will begin to not respect you. If you stay in a relationship that is violent then you should get out quick. When I say quick I mean run out the door with the clothes on your back, and with your phone of course, but leave all your clothes and materialistic possessions with him and on top of that never speak to him/her again.