It's November of 2020 and it has felt like a hell of a year. I am sitting here wanting to start writing again because I used to write a lot to get my feelings out in some form. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I am dreading it because my family feels broken. I've always been a lone wolf, yet this year I feel rather more alone. Thanks to COVID I feel really alone at times, and like everyone wants to avoid each-other because the risk of the virus from hell. This has been really hard and I feel like nothing will be like before the virus. I was shocked when this all started and did not know what will happen, so so many people died 260,000 people to be exact. All the death and despair has been felt in the air, everywhere I go it does not feel like the same anymore.

Everything is still very different and I am constantly reminded of that when I see masks on peoples face. I just want things to be normal again and not turning the T.V. on and seeing COIVD is spreading everywhere again and people are dying every second in the US. I am shocked that this has even happened in America. The government that was in charge could not protect us like they should have. 

Sorry it has been forever since the last time I posted a journal entry. This has been a life changing year for sure and I have been focusing on my health to be the best version of myself. I was just reading some of these old blog posts and wow were these issues so dumb a petty. I am now reflecting on them and thinking how far I have come and where will I be headed in the future. Currently, I am living in my first apartment by myself and it has truly been one of the crazies experiences of my life. The fact that I moved twice during this virus from hell that changed everything. I cannot believe what has happened over the last few months, and just the thought of knowing all those people who have passed away from the virus is mind numbing.

There is something to look forward to that Joe Biden won the election, yet Trump has no given up yet even though he knows he lost. What a crazy freaking year for sure. I hope things will go back to somewhat normal but things are shutting down again in Colorado :(