Internal Dialog

He hasn’t truly claimed that he is your forever. He expresses doubt way to much and the fact that he needs reassurance from others is very telling. Someone with his brains shouldn’t need so much reassurance. He still has doubt in himself and his relationship. It’s clear that he has now disassociated from  the relationship a bit. You can see sediments of this repeated throughout the family and how they act around me.

The negative reinforcements are the cause of a lot of my disparity in this relationship. I sometimes feel excluded and he does it subcontiously without even knowing how I felt about the issue which causes me to have a lot of mental pain. 

Today he told me that he wishes I have more stumac problems and said it out of anger he said. This hurt me because I felt like he was telling me he didn’t care about my health and or existence. I must keep an eye out for this because if he is truly not understanding me on an emotional and human level then why stay and have my growth stunted.