When I initially saw him he did not say anything to me yet he got on his phone and was engaged with whatever conversation he was having at 10pm at night about one of his organizations. I felt like he did not want to talk to me and was completely disinterested in anything I had to say. Recently, I have been feeling really alone because of this cancer scare, and I feel like my partner is not here for me a, I also feel like my family is not either.
My mother told me earlier that “We are adults and grow kids already.” And I replied we will always be her kids and even death will not change that, she was laughing about my sumac and that made me feel even worse about the situation because my partner told me recently that he hopes that I continue having sumach problems because we were arguing.
It’s really sad yet I hope that these issues are not serious and that I can get back to optimal health.
He hasn’t truly claimed that he is your forever. He expresses doubt way to much and the fact that he needs reassurance from others is very telling. Someone with his brains shouldn’t need so much reassurance. He still has doubt in himself and his relationship. It’s clear that he has now disassociated from the relationship a bit. You can see sediments of this repeated throughout the family and how they act around me.
The negative reinforcements are the cause of a lot of my disparity in this relationship. I sometimes feel excluded and he does it subcontiously without even knowing how I felt about the issue which causes me to have a lot of mental pain.
Today he told me that he wishes I have more stumac problems and said it out of anger he said. This hurt me because I felt like he was telling me he didn’t care about my health and or existence. I must keep an eye out for this because if he is truly not understanding me on an emotional and human level then why stay and have my growth stunted.
My name is Jared, I am a 20 years old currently in college for computer science. I will be sharing my life in words, words are the most powerful tool that us humans have at our disposal.