Have you ever meet someone who was just so fundamentally different from you but you also felt like they were you at the same time? I've felt this difference between me and my ex Rory.. He was a extrovert and I was an introvert, he liked being around people and I would rather stay at home watching Netflix relaxing. Don't get me wrong I do like people but I have some major social anxiety issues that interfere with my connections with other people but that's usually only if I don't know them.
I never felt this way about anyone, the love he gave me was a love nobody has given me, a love that was true from the heart. Growing up I never had a valentine and finally this random guy I meet at a dinner a few months back and just started dating a month prior to valentines told me to go outside and meet him in his car, I was really curious what he was doing there it was my first ever real valentine, flattered I was him holding a box of chocolates, rose and a balloon that I still have in my closet because I didn't want to loose something so special from someone I cared about.
He would always invite me to go places but me being socially withdrawn with my depression from everyone and everything I did not want to go. He tried and tried to get me out of this hole I was in but I pushed him back at every single turn I could get. In my mind now I think he took it personally, the fact that I was his boyfriend and I didn't want to do anything with him must of made him feel so alone as if he was single. That I do regret, I regret being so self absorbed into my head that I let it get in-between the both of us.
This made us distant in the long run and I wish it could of been different. I'll always love Rory but he has so much going for him, I drained him he said, he wants a man he said, those words still resonate in my mind replaying like a bad horror movie. He is better off without me and we both know this.
Just the fact that I wasn't enough for him, if you really love someone you love all of them not just pieces of them, you love every single flaw that they have, you don't give up on someone so easily.
Just getting these thoughts down makes my mind feel at ease.
My name is Jared, I am a 20 years old currently in college for computer science. I will be sharing my life in words, words are the most powerful tool that us humans have at our disposal.